New Style Quotes

I went through school believing I had some form of amnesia. Why else would I not remember a single quote? While the rest of the class could rattle them off at the drop of my pencil(which used to drop in awe when I heard them rattle off those quotes.
That was untill I read these. Now I know it wasn't amnesia. It was just that those so- called- pearls-of-wisdon were actually big-blobs -of -bull. Now these are ones worth remembering.

• If you are born to a poor mother it's your faith, but if you marry a poor woman it's your stupidity.
• Practice makes perfect. But nobody's perfect. So, why practice?
• Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright untill you hear them speak.
• Money is not everything.There is also VISA and MASTERCARD.
• Love thy neighbour. Just don't get caught.
• "Hard work never killed anybody". But why be the first?
• There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
• A dress is like a barbed wire . It protects the premises without restricting the view.
• Sucess is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
• Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
• You future depends on your dreams. So, go ahead and sleep.