I HAVE FEW DOUBTS.....

1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)
2. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the
whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
4. Can you cry under water? (let me try)
5. Why do people say, "you've been working like adog" when dogs just sitaround all day? (I
think they meant something else)
6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed? (God knows)
7. Do fish ever get thirsty? (let me ask and tell)
8. Can you get cornered in a round room? (by ones eyes)
9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? (tonight I will stay and watch)
10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oilis made from vegetables,then what is baby
oil made from? (No comments)
11. What should one call a male ladybird? (No comments)
12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they rememberthat they
forgot? (can somebody help )
13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
14. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? (strange isn't it)
15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be !
Able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
16. If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what
happens?
17. Why is it called a TV set when theres only one? (very nice)
18. Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go
that fast on any road?
19. If drink drive is not allowed why the hell they have parking in Bars?

FACTS OF LIFE

1. Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stopproducing tears. Try it
next time you chop onions.

2. Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow atthe same time. Indeed
convenient!

3. Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their ownname.

4. Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite.

5. The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wideangle.

6. To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it soundshollow then it is ripe.

7. Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showingtheir own photos on
each stamp.

8. Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximatelysix to eight weeks old.

9. It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.

10. Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly thanplants watered with
cold water.

11. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria inyour ear by 700
times.

12. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.

13. Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.

14. Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose andears never stop
growing.

15. Everyone's tongue print is different, like fingerprints.

16. Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stayin the gut. It will pass
through the system and be excreted.

17. At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.

18. There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year.

19. Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right
foot, left foot, left foot, rather than rightfoot, left foot .

20. Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

21. The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually thesound of nitrogen gas
bubbles bursting.

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

Because I'am a man

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

Ahh English Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
We will begin with a box, and the plural is boxes..But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes,
One fowl is a goose, and two are called geese.Yet, the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse, or a nest full of mice.
Yet, the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot, and show you my feet,
Then if I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is tooth, and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
One may be that, and two, or three, would be those.
Yet, hat in the plural would never be hose.
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose...
We speak of a brother, and brethren.Yet, we say mother, and never say methren.
Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing?
Grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
The masculine pronouns are he, his, and him.
But imagine the feminine, she, shis, and shim.
In what other language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
We ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?We have noses that run, and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance, and a fat chance, be the same?
While a wise man, and a wise guy, are opposites?

Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
A seamstress, and a sewer, fell down into a sewer line.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
He could lead, if he would get the lead out.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I did not object to the object.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
I spent last evening, evening out a pile of dirt.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The buck does funny things, when the does are present.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.


Let us face it, English is a crazy language!
There is no egg in eggplant.
Nor ham in hamburger.
Neither apple, nor pine, in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
English pronunciations can even mess up your mind!If you have a rough cough,
climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of English in which:
An alarm goes off by going on.
You fill in a form by filling it out.
You have to tie it up to tie it down.
A building burns up as it burns down.


We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that:
Quicksand can work slowly.
Boxing rings are square, not round.
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If mother is mom, how come father is not fom? Or if dad is pop, how come mom is not mop?